Yet, I count myself fortunate that my parents loved me and showed me their love, however age inappropriate my father's sharing of wise lessons may have been at the time, and however confusing my mother's actions and though patterns.
In 1974, at eighteen, I came to America as the spouse of Albert Alberts, a nine-year-older Post-Doctoral Fellow, with a position at D.J. Cram's lab. Wanting to find out what my possibilities were to enter UCLA as a student, I made an appointment with a counselor at the career center.
At the end of the session the counselor deducted I had a rough, and unconventional start, but "your parents showed you their love, and that's a good basis."
People deprived of unconditional love may carry the shame of unworthiness for the rest of their lives.
And here I feel the need to cry: No, no, no, don't let that be so!
Something can be done to mend and heal that early pain
It won't be a walk through the park, although a walk through the park may be healing during that difficult and worthwhile quest for love of self.
Take 3 minutes to read Ross Rosenberg's enlightening post
"Unearthing & Ridding Yourself of Toxic Shame", and then take action, find yourself a good therapist, and embark on that quest.
Yes! You are worth the trouble, you deserve to rid yourself of shame that has nothing to do with you!
This work by Judith van Praag is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License